My baby, My reason to fight

I find myself watching her sleep. A 13 year old angel, lying in bed, innocent, peaceful, and beautiful. Her skin so soft and fair, her eyes flicker while she dreams and when she wakes and looks at you, they are so big, such a deep brown. He hair falls down at her waist now and shes growing so fast, getting taller, starting to blossom. Kelly is my little sister but she might as well be mine. She was two and a half when I met her for the first time. Standing there on the porch with her eyes full of fear and wonderment she looked up at me and held her cup up and said "milk." Then she smiled at me and I knew right then that my life was going to change. And it did too, from that day on I had someone that needed me just as much as I needed them. Summers with my dad before she came along were long and tiring. A constant fight for my own survival. But the day Kelly walked into my life it became so much easier to get out of bed in the morning. Because now I had a little girl that depended on me to get up. She is the one and only reason i even somewhat believe in God. Because he sent me an angel that day. He sent me someone worth fighting for. Without Kelly I had no reason to get out of bed. No reason to fight for my own life. She gave me reason to get up and make sure she was safe and by doing that she saved me. Knowing that little girl needed me made me realize that if i didn't fight him didn't try to survive his sick games and protect her, I'd die and who would she have left to protect her. My baby needs me and I need my baby.

janie and tea cake

"Love is like the sea, it's always moving, and different on every shore." Love is something that cdhanges a person. Love is the most powerful and damaging emotion known to man. However when used honestly and wholesomely it can be the best thing that ever happened to you. People aslways say they want a Jonny and June kind of love. I on the other hand would much rather have a Janie and Tea Cake kind of love. A love so full of passion that with a simple kiss your knees go weak and your heart begins to pound so hard and so fast that you don't think your going to be able to contain it inside your chest. A love full of tons of laughter and smiles. A love that is real, one where the age don't matter and the looks are a simple added bonus. I used to believe that a love like that only exsisted in the movies. A place where all is good and love never goes wrong; something like a fairytale. I was wrong I have a Janie and Tea Cake kind of love. I get to be myself and he loves me for it. He loves things about me that others saw as faults. Like my independence and stubborn closed mind. I speak without thinking and say things I don't mean when I'm mad. I judge to quickly and have a short fuse. But he loves that he says I'm a ticking time bomb and he loves to just sit back and wait for the explosion. I never thought for a split second I'd find a man that could love me with all my faults and complicated life. I guess he see's a life time with me as a new adventure everyday. Janie lucked out when she found tea Cake and I lucked out when Jason finally got the nerve to talk to me. He is truely an amazing person and loving him comes easy. It's the only easy aspect of my life and giving him up like Janie had to give up Tea Cake is just umbareable to think of. I would have let him shoot me, because if something ever happens to him they might as well burry me right along side him because it'll damn near kill me.

come clean

Some people look at old pictures and cry because they miss the people they made memories with. Well I believe that if a person is a part of your past there is a reason they didn't make it to your future. I believe that no matter what your past is you can have a spotless future if you work for it. You have to want it though have to want to mend the hearts yoiu broke. Fix the bridges you burned. This is hard to do but i do beleive that it is possible. The only reason it's hard is because trust is so easily broken but so hard to be mened again. So the next time you make a mistake be sure to appologize to those you hurt and fix the broken relationships. Life is much to short to stand by and watch life fly by just going day by day. You should live it.

When the time is right

People always say there is a right time and a wrong time. That it's just the wrong time thye will wait it out till timing is better. When in reality they are letting their fears take hold of them. Fear for being hurt, fear for hurting someone they care about. Fear of being lonely or fear of causing another to be lonely. I believe that they are full of crap. They think that it makes it easier to wait it out but it only makes it harder.
When a man raises that hand to you it's hurting you more emotionaly than physically. The bruises will heal. It's a broken heart, a shattered dream, and losing yourself to become what someone else wnats you to be that takes forever to heal. Time is just an excuse used get out of it. Love isn't hurting the people you want to make them stay. Love is trusting that you loving them is enough to get the to want to stay.
Nothing hurts more than loosing who you are for another because if something happens to the relationship then you are on your own still confused about who you are, and what you want to do with your life.

I thought the thing at Breshia was boring he had a couple intresting stories but i stayed awake. I have to say im pretty proud of myself for that it was hard to not pick up my book and read it but that would have been pretty disrespectful.

Mama im strong

Mama used to tell me not to fall for a boy that would beat me up real bad

Yell and scream and get in my face or make me feel sad

that's when i told mama you don't gotta worry bout me

Cause im the kind that will always stand on my own two feet

ill work real hard and get an education i don't need a mans money

Cause I'm the kinda girl that will fight back

Im a self sufficient girl and i can do it all on my own

the underestimated girl that won't hold back

Mama can't you see I'm strong

Mama used to tell me not to stay with a man cause I need him

cause I need him to take care of me need him for his money

But be with him cause I love him because he sweet gental and funny

That's when I told mama I hooked a good one i hooked the best

It's time to let me go to give me away

when she began to cry I wiped away her tear told her I'd be ok

Cause im the kind that will always stand on my own two feet

ill work real hard and get an education i don't need a mans money

cause im the kinda girl that will fight back

Im a self sufficient girl and i can do it all on my own

I'm the underestimated girl that won't hold back

Mama can't you see im strong

I love this book the movie was good too. I hate the ending, although I understand why George shot Lennie. I mean when Candy's dog was shot and he says he should have shot the dog himself it symbolizes the moment Lennie gets shot. I think in the movie they protrayed curly's wife much worse than in the book.