Questions that ponder

We all have questions that run through our head but we never stop to take the time to answer them. Questions like how well do we really know ourselves. I mean it's almost as if when someone says what are your plans after you graduate we stand there looking like an idiot because we haven't the slightest clue. Or the question who controls our lives? Is it God, is it our parents or do we control the choices we make? Or theres always are we all a little color blind if not a physical blindness are we blind to the outside world. Why is it that if you see someone and are repulsed at the sight of them. There is someone they lye next to at night and your falling asleep alone. I believe I do know myself very well i am always 2 steps ahead i have a plan A plan B and a plan C. I have a back up plan for everything and if plan C falls threw then i know it wasn't what was best for me. I then take a step back and reaquaint myself with the idea of having new dreams. Who really controls our lives? I believe we do. Many many people say that it is God that controls our lives bringing us into this world and taking us out when he's ready. I don't believe that is true. I also don't believe that our parents control us. I mean they are here to guide us in the right direction until we go out on our own. I believe that we all make our own decisions. SOme of them leading us to continue a vibrant life full of happiness. Others leading us to misery and death. All of the choices we make our on us, we made them knowing the consequences and have to either A take the consequence and be happy with it or option B run from it like it's the plauge. I find it intresting that people are so quick to judge. You see someone walking down the street and think to yourself I'd kill myself if i had to wake up to that in the morning. Maybe they have someone to wake up to in the morning someone who loves them and would sacrifice thier beating heart before they lost the person you're reulsed by. But who do you wake up to every morning do you have a special someone who would sacrifice thier life so you can live yours? Mose likely not. We tell ourselves that we say these things because we belive they are true. But at the end of the day i believe we are just jealous at the fact that our lives aren't as perfect as we would like them to be. I believe there is no utopia theres no such thing as perfection besides the way people describe the perfect man perfect live perfect kids. It all seems so boring to me. Because life without a little adventure isn't life at all it's simply us waking up and doing the same things in a perticular order having no fun. Living life with no spontineity is like not living life at all.